


Forever, You Said

by charming_murderess



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Death, F/F, Hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 03:31:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2677430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charming_murderess/pseuds/charming_murderess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>End of ep. 34. Even death cannot keep us apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever, You Said

**Author's Note:**

> I am slightly obsessed with the relationship of Ell and Carmilla and I hope we could've seen more of it so I can stop writing fics that make me want to kill myself. Have fun!

On the night of December 12th, 1872, I had asked you to wait for me in the garden outside of our home. At the time, I thought that I had meant five minutes of waiting. But either way, your mouth whispered forever to my lips. I thought to myself: ‘what a silly romantic, this girl that I love.’ But I’m sure you heard my heart jump in my chest. Forever, you said. I sure hope you had meant it.

I don’t know how much time had passed since that eventful night but I’ve been waiting ever since. Since your Mother pried me away from your loving arms and locked you away in that coffin, since she had fed me to an abomination that left me conscious and searching. Since I’ve screamed words and awful names and endless monstrous things that I regret very deeply.

But my heart, it has not stopped wanting, waiting, searching; for you. So that I may apologize and I may kiss you and I may say to you words to barely heal the wounds I have caused. To kiss away every scar and bruise I have given. To take away the pain of being locked in that coffin and tortured and abused. To atone myself to you, proving of my worth to take you as my lover. And if you may not wish it so, I shall let it be.

My love, I have waited for so long to gaze upon you again. I do not know how long it has been but dear God, you are more gorgeous than what my hazy memory remembers. My love, your face has aged not a single day since I last saw you. Your hands have not a single mar since we last held ours together. And your lips, dear Lord, those lips that I so long to kiss. Why must they make it so?

My love, my love, my love, why would you not wake? Is this my nightmare? Your body remains lifeless and unmoving and out of all the scenarios I have imagined in my head this is not one of them. My love, I beg you. Please, open those dark eyes and gaze upon me. How is it that my silly bumbling romantic girl isn’t saying anything remotely sharp to me? Oh, dear one. Please, hold my hand once more and don’t let me go.

My tears are pouring and I am shaking but I don’t know any more if it is my cries or my attempts to wake you. I scream but there is no voice and only pain because in all of my imaginations, my love, you were awake. I had thought you angry, elated, relieved, vengeful, and all other things but never, never, never dead, my love.

My body is feeble and small and I cannot hold nearly enough of you in my arms and maybe if I hold you tighter you would tell me to stop. I begged every God I have ever known and prayed every prayer I was ever taught and dear God, please wake the only light in my life.

There are people here, my love. They are calling the name of Carmilla and asking for my name but I cannot remember anything else but trying to wake you and wanting you to be holding me. But my sobs are too much for my body and there is no way in all the hells that I will ever let go like I did before.

Please, my Mircalla, waken. I have come back for you.

Someone had tried to pry me away but I had fought her with all nails and teeth, arms and legs flinging everywhere because there was no way I can be removed from you, my Mircalla. My sweet, darling. There is another girl who had fallen beside you and she is crying out, ‘Wake up, you stupid vampire!’ and I want to be angry at her for calling you such a ridiculous name but I cannot, for she is crying for you too. The taller girl had given up in her struggles with me and we are all at your side now.

Perhaps you had made friends, after all. I told you people saw the good in you. And if you’d just wake up you will see how much love there is for you. Especially from me, my dear. Especially from me. I have saved up all my love just for this moment. Just for when I finally see you and kiss you and my dear, your lips don’t respond to mine and I feel like dying, too.

Mircalla, it is alright for you not to come back but please take me with you. I am screaming and perhaps they do not understand for they speak in a different tongue than me but their understanding is not important. It is you I am screaming for, it is you I am crying for, it is you I am begging for. So please, please, please, take me with you.

The structure is crumbling all around us and they are trying to usher me out and carry me but I fight and I fight and I fight and I hold on to you and finally, someone understands when I scream, ‘I’ll go where she goes!’ They are crying but they run away from the crumbling infrastructure but this one girl held on for as long as she could and she fought as hard as I did but she had other friends, my dear. Perhaps she had other loves and I had barely enough time to think if she had been the girl who currently holds your heart and that pains me a little but it is nothing compared to the pain of seeing you so, so, so bloody dead.

And so I put my body on top of yours, lacing our hands together, my lips just reaching for yours one last time. I rest my head on your unbeating chest and I close my eyes once more. I'm thinking that if I die like this, they might let us be together again in our next lives.

Forever, you said. 


End file.
